Fiction Collection

Fiction Collection

"Things To Do This Week"

My first book is a humorous collection of 34 stories, satires and essays. For a description, Table of Contents, sample story (The Making of a Dust Jacket Blurb) and ordering information, click here to reach the publisher, Xlibris.

Print Publicity

Kenosha News: Kenosha, WI, 8-30-01, business page.

Wisconsin State Journal: Madison, WI, 9-9-01, Sunday book page.

Green Bay Press-Gazette: Green Bay, WI, 11-4-01, Sunday book page.

Northshore LifeStyle: Cedarburg, WI, March 2002.

Radio & TV

Hotel Milwaukee: Wisconsin Public Radio statewide broadcast, 10-13-01.

Kenosha Today: Kenosha, WI public access cable TV show, 11-7-01.

At Ten: WUWM Milwaukee Public Radio, 2-5-02.

Papercuts: WSUM, the University of Wisconsin-Madison campus radio station. Half-hour author interview, 10-24-02.

Readings

Southport Book Center: Kenosha, WI, 11-23-01. Sold 14 books.

Kenosha News

Native son’s book is witty, subtle

The musings of Joe Fumo are sensitive, sophisticated, sarcastic and sometimes just plain silly.

As captured in his first book, “Things To Do This Week” (235 pages, fiction, Xlibris Corp., Philadelphia, $18.69) the veteran free-lance business writer delivers a subtle lecture that we all need to get along better in the context of scenes frequently plucked from the business world.

Only someone of his background and tastes – a Woody Allen/Frank Zappa/Kurt Vonnegut fan who dropped out of newspapering, then labored through 60-hour work weeks in the big time world of public relations in Manhattan – could title a marketing brochure: “The Wisconsin School for Terrorism.” (The New Yorker rejected his attempt to have the essay published individually on the grounds that it contained objectionable material.)

Only Fumo could headline a press release: “Middle Ages Named To Replace Roman Empire Era.”

Only Fumo could author a business plan called: “Please Invest In Air Nuance.”

“I attack greed, jealously and unbridled quest for power and it’s through more than just humor,” he said during a visit this week to his hometown. “I don’t have an overall theme for the book, but I’m telling people, one on one, how to be kinder.”

Fumo’s book is a work something like 15 years in the making. “It is my life’s work, a collection of what I thought was the best fiction I’ve written over the years and I’ve always loved fiction.

“It’s my only byline because the writing I do for companies does not carry my name.”

In fact, Fumo is the anonymous author of numerous speeches delivered from the mouths of executives from Equitable Life, Wisconsin Blue Cross Blue Shield and the American Society for Quality.

In his unique mind, composing a speech is the “closest thing” to fiction writing.

Numerous pages of dialogue encountered in the 34 stories that comprise “Things To Do This Week” reflect his skill and passion for both types of writing.

An example from, “Middle Ages Named To Replace Roman Empire Era”: “We all agree that the Middle Ages should serve as a transition to the Renaissance,” said Hamius, senior slave driver of Mesopotamia Resources. “But let's be honest. You can't snap your fingers and have the kind of highbrow literature, music and paintings that we envision. The whole infrastructure of society has to be torn down and rebuilt. At the very least, you're looking at a millennium.”

Fumo traces his love affair with the written word to junior high school, when he was growing up in the household of Mario and Elvia Fumo on Pershing Boulevard. After graduating from Tremper High School in 1972 and earning a bachelor’s degree in journalism from University of Wisconsin-Madison in 1976, he went right to work crafting words for the Mauston Star, a twice-weekly newspaper in that western Wisconsin city. After migrating to Passaic, N.J., and joining the staff of the Passaic Herald-News, he abandoned newspapering for the lively world of public relations and a job at the now-defunct Carl Byoir & Associates agency.

While free-lancing for Equitable Life, he met Ann Weninger, an employee of the life insurance company to whom he has been married since 1984.

The couple and their two children now reside in Shorewood.

“Things To Do This Week” is a print-on-demand book, meaning Xlibris will publish a copy when someone places an order. Orders can be placed through bookstores or via the website: www.Xlibris.com.

– Dave Backmann

Wisconsin State Journal

Local author expounds on God, Middle Ages

Joe Fumo, a business writing consultant in Shorewood, who began his career writing for the Wisconsin State Journal in the 1970s before finding neither fame nor fortune in New York City public relations work, weighs in with a self-published book of his essays, “Things To Do This Week” (Xlibris).

One of them is a performance review for God, who, in Fumo’s imagination, at least, reports to a “Supreme God.”

God gets credit for inventing the food chain, a “stroke of genius,” and for geographical diversity. He receives low marks for the weather, which the Supreme God considers “counterproductive.”

“What troubles me is that Earthlings become depressed when they see their loved ones swept away by typhoons and such. And with communications so widespread and instantaneous, people all over the planet are sharing in the misery of every so-called ‘natural’ disaster. It wears down the human spirit, that’s my point.”

Fumo also creates a mock press release announcing the Middle Ages will replace the Roman Empire.

“The panel considered more glamorous names for this new era in mankind's history, but chose the Middle Ages because it best reflects the intellectual progress that lies ahead.”

And, he writes a “Memo to a Boring Friend,” which reads, in part: “Bear with me because I have something unpleasant to tell you. You probably know what's coming, but I suggest you brace yourself anyway. I'm going to place quotation marks around the following statement so that you never forget it as long as you live: ‘Your capacity to bore others is truly frightening.’ ”

– William R. Wineke

Green Bay Press-Gazette

State writer sees a need for more humor in life

In need of a little escapism? Try “Things To Do This Week” by Joe Fumo

This is a collection of 34 short stories or essays that range from political and sociological advice to laugh-out-loud fantasy. Fumo ponders life in a series of musings that will have you thinking, laughing and/or scratching your head.

Fumo is a native of Kenosha. He has been a newspaper reporter and PR person in Manhattan. Currently he is a freelance business consultant/writer in Shorewood, Wis. He has spent 40-plus years honing his sense of humor and writing essays on the side.

His news release captures his personality. The title: “Joe Fumo’s Head is a Scary Place to Be (And That’s Not Bad, As it Turns Out).” I knew I was going to have to investigate this further because Joe is a former colleague of mine. For a little more than nine months, he and I sat next to each other at the Beloit Daily News. Based on that experience, I expected the book to be funny (and maybe a little on the weird side). I was not disappointed.

His release begins: “Joe Fumo is an ex-Manhattan PR man who gave up being overworked and overpaid to settle in Milwaukee as a freelance business writer. He is also a bit frightening. And he has a book to prove it.” Some of the “things” on his to-do list include:

* Produce a marketing brochure for the Wisconsin School for Terrorism (“Crime will always be part of the human equation, so we might as well make it pleasant”). This section has nothing to do with the events of Sept. 11. In fact, it was written long before that time, the author notes.

* Sit in on “God’s Performance Review.” (Food chain, good; sex drive, bad.)

* Stop minting coins in my image and trying to pass them off as U.S. currency.

* Develop tax-evasion matrix.

* Send check to Global Struggle Clearinghouse.

You also get to observe a scientist struggle with his emotions in “Searching For X,” or watch history unfold in “Middle Ages Named to Replace Roman Empire Era.” Learn “Questions to Ask at Cocktail Parties.” This includes “did you ever stay in a job long enough to use 500 business cards?” Or, “at what age do you learn if you were born to run?”

Fumo has been writing since he was 12, he said. “Growing up in a family of seven children, there was always a houseful. When I needed a break, I got into own space by writing. I’d just block everything else out for an hour or so.”

The book is “70 percent side-splitting humor and 30 percent behavior modification,” he said. In his own way he is trying to make the world a better place to live by recommending that people simply treat others with dignity and respect. “I want them to be less greedy or selfish. To buy fuel-efficient vehicles ... I don't want to sound preachy, but I want people to think globally, act locally.

“The driving force behind my work is encouraging people to be kinder and more tolerant. If I can I stop one person from hurting someone’s feelings, or one dictator from committing genocide, then maybe I haven’t wasted my life entirely.

“These 34 pieces were written over a 15-year period,” Fumo continued. “In August of 2000, I put them into book form and found this publisher that would do the publication part and was willing to do short stories. I thought it was my only chance to get this published. It’s very difficult to get a collection published unless you’re a Stephen King. I saw this as my only solution.”

The book is a “print-on-demand” through Xlibris Corp. It is available through retail or online bookstores, or by going to www.Xlibris.com/bookstore on the Web. Or phone (888) 795-4274. You can read an excerpt at the Web site.

– Jean Peerenboom

Northshore LifeStyle

Fun with Fumo

Even though his new book is called "Things to Do This Week," Shorewood author Joe Fumo doesn't compare himself to fellow list-maker David Letterman, famous for his "Top Ten."

Fumo writes and speaks with a dry wit, inspired more by cerebral writers and story-tellers than by pop culture and current events. Thus, "Things," a 235-page collection of 34 short stories, humor pieces and essays, was gleaned from more than 20 years of writing by Fumo.

"I've probably written twice this much, and a lot of it was written when I was younger, when you think everything you write is funny and you send it off to 'The New Yorker,'" says Fumo, 47. "I'm funny in small groups. I can't do stand-up. I wouldn't do well in ComedySportz. I have friends who are well-read and witty, and it's nice to trade (thoughts) with them."

Fumo's book was released last May. Its humor comes from how he takes on situations and lets them slowly twist into the realm of the absurd, like in the piece called "The Making of a Dust Jacket Blurb" in which a well-known author is urged to include words such as "luminous" in his endorsement of a new writer.

Other pieces explore longed-for book titles ("Hieroglyphics Without Tears") and hoped-for names that could describe either a jazz musician or a linebacker, such as "Posthumous Dickinson" and "Vanquish Davis." Fumo is having fun with a piece he's working on now, a send-up of the thank-you announcements heard on National Public Radio. The programs and sponsoring foundations are fictitious, but the reader doesn't know that at first. "It's the Monty python style of humor that builds very slowly," he explains.

Fumo's own tastes in humor writing run toward Woody Allen and early Garrison Keillor work, and he enjoys "Home Movies" on the Cartoon Network.

Meanwhile, "Things" has received several good reviews, available through Xlibris Corp. (www.xlibris.com/bookstore).

While Fumo is active in promoting his book, he is more accurately described as a freelance business writer. He writes speeches, business proposals, company awards materials and in-house newsletter articles for several local clients. Married, the father of two, Fumo has lived in Shorewood since 1985 and enjoys working from home.

"Humor does sort of creep into my business writing, and when it doesn't, so what?" says Fumo. "It pays the bills and keeps me in sweat pants."

– Cathy Breitenbucher